Kids Parties Aren’t What they Used to Be!

I’m not sure a murder mystery is really appropriate for children. Now, I’m not going to tell Abigail how to raise her child- even though someone should, because I’m seeing just a tad too much sugar being passed around at those parties- but I let my daughter go to that party on the condition that if she was offered a second cup of cordial, she would cordially refuse. But when she came back babbling about how they scurried around the play centre solving the murder of a stuffed purple elephant, I had quite a few reservations.

I have nothing against the play centre, of course. These kids party venues available here in Melbourne are quite wonderful for their intended purpose, because heaven knows that I don’t time to cleaning up after a party in MY home. So long as I can control what happens at my own party, make sure everyone is eating healthy snacks and none of the games involve too much running and jumping (especially after eating!), then I’ve no problem. Letting my daughter attend a party without me being present was a big step, and now she’s come back with all sorts of fanciful tales about Mr Trumpet the elephant being pushed off a bridge by persons unknown, and then they had to go on an odyssey all around the play centre until it was revealed that Mrs Slither the snake killed him for the insurance money.

I just don’t think children should be hearing about this sort of thing! We have disasters, theft, family troubles and even insurance fraud, perhaps the worst of them all.

I know it’s all just fanciful tales, and apparently they had Mr Trumps and Mrs Slithery appear as themselves afterwards to confirm that it was all an act, but…really. Abigail has gone too far. I have to do it all myself. I have to find an entire birthday party venue for hire. Melbourne has enough of them spread about. And then, I’ll have to lead by example with a nice, safe party where everyone eats healthy carrot snacks and no one even so much as scrapes their knee. Not even stuffed animals.