Beautiful Heating Prose

I’m not usually one for poetry, but sometimes you just hear a certain little collection of words arranged rhythmically, and something in your heart flutters. I was watching an episode of People With Way Too Much Money, and Bradley had taken Meg out on a romantic date, they were on the bow of a cruise ship…and Bradley pulls out a piece of paper. “I wrote these words for you, my darling,” he said, before reading his lovely poem:

Meg so hot,

Hot, hot Meg

Meg so hot

She fry an egg.

Um, excuse me while I squee.

See, it’s all thematically linked. Bradley made his fortune doing ducted gas heating repairs in Melbourne, and even now that he’s moved onto managing multiple businesses, you could still say that he’s remembered as a ducted heating tycoon. Many of the romantic things he does are related to heat, like taking his then-girlfriend Scarlet on a desert trek, or flying his other girlfriend Monique all the way to Cancun for a sunbed experience worth over two-million. He IS the heating guy, Bradley. His family made Melbourne heating a household name, in Melbourne, because they put heating in almost all the houses and people talk about it I guess. In fact, I think that’s what keeps drawing all these beautiful women to him: they see past the good looks and the perfect teeth and the designer suits and the hundreds of millions of dollars in his bank account, and they know that he really gets heating.

Like, here’s a guy who would never bring in a fan heater to heat up his home, oh no. He’d get the best split system heating Melbourne has to offer. No girl is ever going to be cold in his house, because Bradley would consider that a travesty.

He’s the ‘hot’ guy, but not in that way. Girls just love how he makes them feel warm and cozy…with his ducts and gas heating.