Air Conditioning

Connections are key in business, so they say. Thus, if our latest advanced suit technology didn’t really take off last year, it’s an acceptable loss because we forged all kinds of important business connections…of business.

Maybe our strategy needs a rethink. We were so focused on making promises of great things that we didn’t think to start at the very beginning. Maybe instead of offering massive suits, we should instead offer the amazing amenities therein, one by one. Humans are still in desperate need of cup-holders. We shall provide that service, seamlessly woven into ordinary clothing. And I know for a fact that there are already talented people working on the air conditioning. Repair technicians in Melbourne are some of the people with whom we’ve been discussing. Makes sense, since they have some of the best air con around and that was going to be a big component of our suits. And now, people are proposing technology-enhanced everyday clothing that keeps you cool. With cooling technology. *Cool*.

I mean, if you think about it, that’s basically an advanced movement suit. It’s not a hulking chunk of imposing metal and pure, unbridled power, but it IS wearable tech, and that’s where it’s at right now. These suits don’t have to be massive. Maybe it was us who were aiming for the wrong thing. Instead, these advanced movement suits will be cool, almost invisible innovations that help you out without taking up too much space, or any space at all. Mankind’s eternal problem from the dawn of time has been that you can’t take air conditioning with you once you leave the house. Well, now you can. You can have air conditioning repairs at home in Melbourne, but then you can walk the streets of Melbourne – or anywhere, really – and you can be cool. Maybe that’s the true essence of a high tech movement suit. Simplicity, convenience…innovation. Hey, that’s not a bad slogan.

Canberra has a heatwave, and suddenly, Britney is everyone’s best friend. Oh, sure, everyone just forget that there’s a photo of her getting close with Shaun at the school social, and everyone KNEW Shaun was dating Stephanie at the time. Britney went public about Stephanie when she was caught with Kevin behind the bins and made a big fuss about how it wasn’t her fault, so she basically stabbed her friend in the back. Britney has amazing air conditioning, so she’s the most popular girl in school right now. Makes TOTAL sense.

 

The way Britney tells it, it’s like she has a direct connection to the best air conditioning Canberra businesses rely on. She not only gets the best service but her air con unit has the power to create instant winter. Yeah that’s a thing when you’ve got wealthy parents. Britney is seriously trying to make us believe that her air con is supercharged and has snow right there in her home. Slow down your lying machine Brit. This is the same girl who said that she was friends with that sports guy from Yugoslavia and he gave her ice skating tickets, and then I look it up and I don’t even think that’s a real place. At least, I’m pretty sure. But there was an ice skater and he played professional hockey so who knows the whole story.

Oh, and it’s all cold stuff with Britney. Her air con in the best, she’s best buds with a famous ice skater, and she probably thinks I forgot but I remember back in grade two when she was bragging for WEEKS about how her fridge has an ice-maker. That was exciting, back in grade two…I guess.

Now it’s all about the air conditioning. And when it’s winter, she’ll boast about getting the highest quality air con services. Canberra is far warmer than it should be this time of year. I know my parents can’t just afford to have the air con full blast all the time. But just you wait. Everyone will fly into Britney’s trap like mosquitoes to a bug zapper, because I guess no one has cooling in their homes? It’s just one big popularity contest!

-Lake

People in this workplace talk about air conditioning a lot. It is perhaps one of the top three subjects, alongside the weather, and what the conversation partner is either doing on their weekend, or has done on the weekend. That’s something I learned to ask quite early on.

This body of mine is quite advanced, but it’s still difficult for me to ascertain temperature, so to fit in with my fellow workers I’ve started randomly saying things like “wow, golly, the air conditioning is strong today, my dear colleagues!” and “Gosh, those companies in Melbourne installing air conditioners did a very great and wonderful job, I can feel that cool air on my human skin!”

People used to look at me very strangely…well, whenever I opened my mouth for more than affirmative or negative statements. However, ever since I told them that I am actually an unusually-light-skinned person, no one seems to question me much. Racial divides, it seems, are not something you should question too harshly.

The temperature of the air coming out of the unit brings out many curiosities in the human temperament. Diana always wants the place to be warmer, so as soon as Kim goes to the unit and turns it up, it’s like Diana is always right on her heels to turn it up with an exasperated expression. It is like a dance, a matter of instinct that they are both aware of but go along with anyway. Fascinating. And then there’s Sandra, who simply must tell everyone on her office rounds not to have it on all day because it’s electricity best used elsewhere, and that getting air conditioning repairs near Melbourne does not cost “a handful of peanuts.”

I’m unfamiliar with this phrase. But the nuances of the air con unit continue. Perhaps I shall never understand them all, lacking as I am in temperature receptors.