Property

The thing that really disturbs me about smart technology is the thought of people hacking into it, and doing evil things. That sounds a bit vague but that’s only because I haven’t looked over my notes from the conference.

Oh yes, I went to a conference yesterday entitled ‘The Future: Why We Should Be Deathly Afraid of Technology’. I’m not as clued into tech as my peers because of my parents being tent folks who didn’t really trust it, so I ended up being a bit behind when I finally decided to enter the real world. Now I’m in an office, even using a computer every day as part of my work, and it’s going well. Mostly. I still fear hacking, because in the one movie that I’ve seen, someone used hacking to make a plane explode.

I know Melbourne has a booming property scene. In Melbourne, property advocates and real estate agents exist to help you find a place to live- that is, a real home and not in a tent, one that has walls and all that- and that’s still a strange concept to me. People who help you find homes? How very strange to someone who’s just been living in a tent for their whole life, and the same tent as well. Tent folks don’t move around! The idea is that we’re born and we die in the same tent. But still, property advocates do indeed exist, making the world a better place by helping people to…find homes, I suppose? Homes are very large, but some people have poor eyesight, I suppose. Perhaps the consequence of living in those four restricting walls.

Anyway, this isn’t a slight against estate agents or any of that. I certainly mean no disrespect to the fine folks who help people find homes with walls, because I currently live in one, and it’s nice. But someday, buyers advocates may face the quandary of finding high-end homes when the homes themselves are turning against people in horrific ways. We should just get rid of artificial intelligence altogether, to be honest. Also, walls. They’re alright, but nothing makes a home quite like a bit of fabric.

-Joney

I’m telling you all, the future is the past. I mean, like, we’re all going to realise that the policies of the future were the best ones, so we’ll go back to them, thus causing the past to become the future, and vice-versa.

I don’t think I explained myself very well tonight at the meeting. People seemed pretty confused, and only later did I come up with the analogy of the sixties. People in the sixties didn’t LIVE anywhere, because they realised that the Earth is just our gracious host, and it’s letting us live here rent-free. They just moved from one place to another, everyone’s home was open…the only way to live.

I feel like things are really complicated nowadays. Like, my friend Lacey just got married, and for a wedding present her dad hooked her up with a buyers advocate near Melbourne, and I was all like ‘WHAT’. No, really. I had no clue what that was, so I looked it up, and I was all like ‘oh’, but also all like ‘wow’. Society is now so confusing that we need people to find homes for us, which is fair enough because housing IS confusing. I don’t even want to think about it, which is why I live with my parents, until one of my friends realises that he should be opening his house to all, because mother nature and stuff. Preferably several friends, because then I can couch surf when I get bored of one place. The thought of getting a buyers advocate to find me a home is the furthest thing from my mind. Probably because…well, I don’t have that much money.

Sorry, property advocates of Melbourne. You do good work, I’m sure, but you may have to alter your career once everyone embraces the couch-surfing revolution. It won’t be so bad, though…maybe you could be couch-surfing advocates, helping people to find comfy sofas. But for free.

-Sunshine