The Future is the Past, Obviously

I’m telling you all, the future is the past. I mean, like, we’re all going to realise that the policies of the future were the best ones, so we’ll go back to them, thus causing the past to become the future, and vice-versa.

I don’t think I explained myself very well tonight at the meeting. People seemed pretty confused, and only later did I come up with the analogy of the sixties. People in the sixties didn’t LIVE anywhere, because they realised that the Earth is just our gracious host, and it’s letting us live here rent-free. They just moved from one place to another, everyone’s home was open…the only way to live.

I feel like things are really complicated nowadays. Like, my friend Lacey just got married, and for a wedding present her dad hooked her up with a buyers advocate near Melbourne, and I was all like ‘WHAT’. No, really. I had no clue what that was, so I looked it up, and I was all like ‘oh’, but also all like ‘wow’. Society is now so confusing that we need people to find homes for us, which is fair enough because housing IS confusing. I don’t even want to think about it, which is why I live with my parents, until one of my friends realises that he should be opening his house to all, because mother nature and stuff. Preferably several friends, because then I can couch surf when I get bored of one place. The thought of getting a buyers advocate to find me a home is the furthest thing from my mind. Probably because…well, I don’t have that much money.

Sorry, property advocates of Melbourne. You do good work, I’m sure, but you may have to alter your career once everyone embraces the couch-surfing revolution. It won’t be so bad, though…maybe you could be couch-surfing advocates, helping people to find comfy sofas. But for free.