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It’s cold

Heating / By

I absolutely hate winter. I hate it with such a passion. I find it really restricting when it comes to being able to enjoy life, I can’t go out and I can’t have fun. Frankly, when it’s wintertime it means life is going to suck for about three to four months. I become a horrible person to be around when it’s winter. It’s not something I am proud of, but it’s true. My family all say that I walk around the house like a total grump. Particularly the week we get our annual ducted heating service. Canberra is a cold place and it’s cold every single year. I don’t know why my parents are insistent on waiting until winter to get the heater serviced. Surely, they would know by now that once winter comes, the heating system needs to be serviced. You think I sound like a grump in this particular blog article? You should honestly see me during the servicing week while the heater is out of action. Without even realising I’m pacing and stomping around the house.

I really wish I lived elsewhere, to be honest. Somewhere hotter. Somewhere there is a beach and blue skies. I hate wind and I hate rain. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be moving from this city anytime soon. At least not until I finish university. Once I graduate the whole world will be in my hands and I can visit all the warm places in the world. I want to go to Greece, Italy, Spain, and Mexico. In all honesty, I just want to go somewhere that is hot. I’m just lucky that my parents use the best heating repairs around Canberra to fix our heating system. Whenever they fix our heater, it honestly sizzles. I could walk around my house in shorts and a t-shirt and still feel warm. It’s an amazing feeling. I’d honestly rather be sweating and boiling than freezing. I know it’s odd, but hey, that’s me.

Explaining the clavicle

Uncategorized / By

‘Clavicle’ is simply the medical term given to the ‘collarbone’. In people who are thin, the clavicle will often be visible beneath the skin. While it might seem like this bone is useless and only exists for structuring purposes, the clavicle actually has three main functions.

The first is attaching the upper limb to the trunk to create the shoulder girdle. The second function is to protect neurovascular structures. The third is to transmit force from the upper limb through to the axial skeleton. The bone is rather slender and follows an ‘S’ shape. It has two ends, the sternal and the acromial. The area between these two ends is referred to as the shaft. Pain with shoulder movement, swelling tenderness, bruising, grinding noises, and stiffness are just some of the symptoms of clavicle fracture. Fixation is the term that is given to the surgical procedure used to repair fractures within the clavicle. If you notice any of these symptoms then you need to see a doctor right away. If you delay diagnosis and treatment this will severely impede on the process for your clavicle to properly heal. 

When surgeons talk about ‘fractures’, they’re basically referring to a bone that has been broken. In order for broken bones to heal properly, the bones must be held in their correct position to prevent further injury. The body, being the wonderful thing it is, will know if there is a fracture and will immediately begin the healing process by forming a blood clot around the fracture. The bone cells on either side of the fracture will then begin to grow towards each other to close the break. If the fracture is severe, this is when a surgeon will need to step in and operate. 
Some of the tools used in repairing a clavicle fracture are also used by specialists for scapula fracture fixation in the Melbourne CBD. Where possible bones will be held together with a cast to promote healing. When this is not possible, like in the clavicle, the surgeon will need to readjust the bones to encourage them to grow towards each other.

The apprentice blues

Hardware / By

Sometimes it can be tough being an apprentice in a trade.  A few fellow apprentices I know have wound up on numerous occasions working for really rude and arrogant trainers who are more interested in bossing someone around than training them. I had a nightmare trainer once too. He spoke to me like I was nothing but a bit of worthless dirt. He’d constantly put me down and boss me around. I remember once he told me to go to the hardware store. Bentleigh has a few hardware store locations but my trainer refused to tell me which location he wanted me to go to. Apparently, if I was smart I would ‘figure it out’. Usually, I’d give someone a piece of my mind, but I chose to take the high road and go to each store searching for this one item that he wanted me to buy. No doubt he’d take issue with whatever I brought back for him, so I knew to get the process over and done with fast.

After spending twenty minutes in the shop, I found the item he wanted me to purchase and went back to the site. Turns out I had bought the right item but from the wrong shop. He told him that he didn’t specify what shop he’d like me to purchase the tools from. He was adamant that he told me to buy electrical supplies in the Cheltenham area. The whole scenario was absolutely ludicrous as he didn’t say a word about Cheltenham. He only mentioned Bentleigh, and that’s where I went. It was after that day that I knew I had to quit and find another trainer. I was unemployed for about two months. I remember my TAFE being super mad at me and garnishing me as a dropout. Obviously, my teachers were given incorrect information by my boss. The upside of this incident was that I wound up finding someone who appreciated me and my work.

Stronger Car Repairman

Uncategorized / By

Welcome back everyone, I’m Moe Bile and I’m here today with Ty Re. Before we get to the start of the competition, how cool were those ads? They were so perfectly tailored to the competition. I really liked watching the mechanic who did the brake repair. Which ad was your favourite, Ty?

Oh, I liked all of them, Moe! It seems like every expert car mechanic in the Brighton area chose to advertise their business in that one ad break. And you know what? I’m all for it. I mean it makes sense that they’re advertising during the Travelling Car Competition. Our audience is obviously very interested in cars and car repairs. Why not advertise directly to your target market?

Okay, woah Ty. I was after your opinion on the best ad, I don’t want all your marketing jargon and neither does the audience.

Sorry Moe. Sometimes I slip back into my marketing degree, which for the people wondering at home, used to be my profession until I got into commentating. But enough about me, the competition is about to start! 

Oh I can hardly contain myself, Ty! Who do you think will be Brighton’s big winner? 

I think it would have to be Patrick. I mean, look at the muscles on him. I think he’d be the best at car repairs. Near Brighton there don’t seem to be too many contenders. I mean, only five people qualified for today’s competition, down from fifteen people last year.

You think Patrick, really? Surely Mitch is the standout. He’s six foot six and built like a truck. He looks like he could be bigger than the actual truck we’ve got lined up for the next state’s contestants. I’m putting all my money on him.

We’re not allowed to bet on the competition, Moe! Surely you know that? Anyway, the competition is about to start. We’ll reflect on how it went at the end.

Tiresome tyre trouble

Uncategorized / By

Why are cars such a burden at times? I picked up my car from the mechanic just three days ago, only to be sending it back tomorrow. Early today I was driving and I must have run over some nails or something sharp that has pierced not only one but two of my wheels. I’ve never had a tyre puncture but somehow it has to happen within days of getting my car back. I’m crossing my fingers that this doesn’t mean I’m going to be car-less, again.

My mechanic is the most recommended Preston tyre repair mechanic so hopefully, he will be able to get the job done quickly. It’s funny before I drove off the other day he cracked a joke and said ‘hope to not see you soon’. I feel like he’s cursed me by saying this because lo and behold, he’s seeing me sooner than ever. No doubt he’ll be smiling on the inside as it means more commission for him. Maybe I’ll joke back and say that he set my tyres up for failure! Then again, it’s probably best that I say nothing as I don’t want to give him any ideas.


The upside of the mechanic already seeing my car only days ago is that it won’t need a car service. I just hope I’ll have the car back by Friday. I’ve been on four dates with this lovely lady and every day I’ve had to tell her that my car is still with the mechanic. Just the other day I was ranting and raving about how I’ll get my car back soon and we can go on a drive together. She made a joke saying that she was relieved to hear that I was getting my car back as she was starting to think that I was just pretending that I had a car. I really hope she doesn’t get put off when I tell her my car is with the mechanic… again.

Big Welding Brother

Boating / By

My brother Donny has always overshadowed me, even though he’s younger than I am. Somehow, I drew the literal short straw and ended up tiny, while he stands at over six feet tall. It’s totally not fair. I’m the older sister, but everyone assumes he is my older brother. He’s better at pretty much everything, too. Why ask Rey to do anything, when you can just get Donny to do it better? Well, not this time.

I recently started a new job, and they don’t know about my younger, bigger brother. I intend to keep it that way. I just hope that the boss doesn’t need any marine welding, because that is Donny’s favourite. If they find out that my brother is a professional when it comes to marine welding near Melbourne, nobody will ever see the need for me around here again.

I’ve been trying to make myself invaluable to the team, but unfortunately, I’m pretty lazy and not really good at anything. Maybe I should learn how to do some marine welding myself, so that if the boss comes around asking if anyone can fix his boat, I can offer to do it completely free of charge. I just need to get an understanding of how to install bow rails. Then I’ll be able to do it myself.

I guess I’m just paranoid because at my last job Donny helped everybody out with an audit, since he’s also an accountant. That was great, but unfortunately everybody liked Donny so much that I got fired and they hired him instead. It’s totally unfair. Just because I have nothing to offer and my brother has everything, I lose my job? Well, not this time.

Update: Great, my boss read this post and now he’s demanding that I get in contact with Donny, so that he can help with some welding issues around the place. Here we go again.

Hardware Kings Spying

Hardware / By

It turns out that the Hardware Bandits are far worse than we had even imagined. I was pretty hesitant to go along with Eleanor’s crazy plan, but she insisted that it would work and everybody else agreed. I play the party’s legal advisor in our Hardware Shop Bonanza role-playing game, so naturally, I had to oppose, but nobody ever listens to me. I argued that it was a bad idea to fight our enemies with violence, as that would only make things worse, and that’s exactly what happened. The Hardware Bandits took it as an excuse to retaliate, burning down our hardware shop. In Cheltenham, the fantasy town where our shop was, people rely on us for hardware. Now we can’t help them, because we lost everything in this attack.

The worst part is that we can’t prove their involvement. Technically, it could have been anybody who destroyed our hardware shop. Obviously, we know it was the Hardware Bandits, but we can’t prove anything. So they’re going to get away with it. We need to come up with a legal but effective plan for revenge. If we start breaking laws, we’ll be no better than them. And yet the rest of the group is talking about how we should shoot fireballs at the opposing hardware store. That’s a terrible idea!

My plan is that we send Franklin into their store while wearing a disguise. He will have a small video camera on his hat and will ask the store owner if this is the best place to buy plumbing supplies around Cheltenham. Franklin will then have a nice conversation with the manager, landing himself a job at the store. Through Franklin, we’ll get some footage of the Hardware Bandits’ meetings, proving their corruption. Everyone will know how dodgy they are, and when we rebuild our hardware shop, they will be desperate to come back and be our customers. Perfectly legal, but effective nonetheless.

– Harry

Passing the Test

Windows / By

I can’t believe it is actually happening. I never thought I’d have another person actually make it all the way through my one thousand provisions, but Tommy is actually doing it. I might be able to make another contract after all. This is the greatest day of my life since I bound myself to the service of King Arthur back in the 12th century. He was willing to follow my provisions (although there were only seven hundred of them back then), and we made a great team. Nobody could stop us. That was until somebody stopped us, putting an end to Arthur’s reign as king. He was a mortal man, doomed to perish eventually. I, as an immortal wizard of window and door replacement, had to move on. Since then I’ve been searching for another man with the dedication and flawless patience of Arthur, with no luck. Until, perhaps, today.

I certainly expected Tommy to quit when he got up to provision eight hundred and twelve. Nobody has ever gotten past there. After all, it is an absurd and terrible requirement for us to listen to the entire discography of the band Penny Back together. Who would agree to that? The last person to get there desperately needed sash window replacement in the Melbourne area, and they needed it instantly. After several hours of reading, he decided that provision was the last straw and that he wasn’t that desperate for window repairs. So he got sent to jail for not repairing the damages he had recently caused.

But Tommy is truly desperate. He wants to get his old body back and is willing to do just about anything to get it. But there’s one obstacle in the way. This will determine whether it is possible for anyone to make it through my one thousand provisions. If Tommy fails this test, I’ll need to revise the provisions. But if he accepts it, then that’s proof that the system works, provided I am patient enough.

Let’s see how he goes with provision one thousand.

– Window Replacement Wizard

Archerak’s Revival

Drains / By

I’ve just finished reviving into my new duplicate body after Jack Zebraman stabbed me in the back with a metal pole. It’s an exhausting process, even for an ultra-powerful archlich like me. I need to relax for a couple of days and recuperate. I probably won’t even leave Big Ben unless it’s to get my favourite SunBucks coffee. The Elders of the Internet who guard my phylactery certainly seem surprised to see me, since I’ve never actually used it before.

I know I should be going back to Sweden in Melbourne to get my revenge against Zebraman, but frankly, I can’t really be bothered. Yes, I swore that I would make him pay for destroying my old body, and yes, it’s a bit of an insult that a washed-up actor was able to defeat me, but maybe I should just let him have his petty victory. Besides, he’ll live the rest of his life in abject fear that I could come for him at any time. That’s the real victory, if you ask me.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering why I betrayed the alliance to stop Evil Space Wizard in the first place. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think it’s any of my business to fight a creature that was raised to serve as a blocked drain solution. Melbourne residents shouldn’t have to put up with blocked drains. That aside, I’m not afraid of him. Why would I be afraid of him? If you don’t recall, I turned the regular Space Wizard into a pile of goo with a mere flick of my wrist. I’m certain I could do the same to Evil Space Wizard.

If I had to choose between fighting Evil Space Wizard and becoming a professional plumber, you should just tell me where to get started with the drain repairs. Brighton, Essendon or Preston; I don’t care where. I’ll travel to any of them and use my magic to fix drain issues. Not because I’m afraid of Evil Space Wizard, but because fighting him sounds really boring to me. It would be too easy. I’d rather leave the fighting to the others, who might actually see it as a challenge.

Stay Cool in Business

Air Conditioning / By

Connections are key in business, so they say. Thus, if our latest advanced suit technology didn’t really take off last year, it’s an acceptable loss because we forged all kinds of important business connections…of business.

Maybe our strategy needs a rethink. We were so focused on making promises of great things that we didn’t think to start at the very beginning. Maybe instead of offering massive suits, we should instead offer the amazing amenities therein, one by one. Humans are still in desperate need of cup-holders. We shall provide that service, seamlessly woven into ordinary clothing. And I know for a fact that there are already talented people working on the air conditioning. Repair technicians in Melbourne are some of the people with whom we’ve been discussing. Makes sense, since they have some of the best air con around and that was going to be a big component of our suits. And now, people are proposing technology-enhanced everyday clothing that keeps you cool. With cooling technology. *Cool*.

I mean, if you think about it, that’s basically an advanced movement suit. It’s not a hulking chunk of imposing metal and pure, unbridled power, but it IS wearable tech, and that’s where it’s at right now. These suits don’t have to be massive. Maybe it was us who were aiming for the wrong thing. Instead, these advanced movement suits will be cool, almost invisible innovations that help you out without taking up too much space, or any space at all. Mankind’s eternal problem from the dawn of time has been that you can’t take air conditioning with you once you leave the house. Well, now you can. You can have air conditioning repairs at home in Melbourne, but then you can walk the streets of Melbourne – or anywhere, really – and you can be cool. Maybe that’s the true essence of a high tech movement suit. Simplicity, convenience…innovation. Hey, that’s not a bad slogan.